My 9-to-5 Alter Ego
Ever feel like you're playing a character at work? I do, and mine smiles through existential rants just to keep things running smoothly. It’s not deception, it’s survival in business casual.
Surely, I can't be the only one who fakes a personality at work. I’d even argue that most people act like entirely different versions of themselves in the workplace. More professional, more composed, more friendly, and a little too witty for their own good.
Even though my coworkers aren't the worst people (they're actually one of the better ones I've met so far) I still like to keep my distance. On the surface, they're totally fine, except for that one guy who likes to wallow in his misery and project it onto others. But the deeper you go, the nastier it gets. Which is precisely why I don't do that. I'm more than happy with what I found when I just scratched the surface of their facade. Besides, we don't have a lot in common anyway. There is a massive age gap between them and me. Like 10 years minimum, which doesn't help.
So, how does my work me differ from my normal me? I'm very friendly and always try to find common ground to avoid friction at all costs to maintain their somewhat neutral perception of me. Furthermore, I mirror my coworkers by adjusting my opinions and interests to match whoever I'm talking to. For example, recently I was again invited to play disc golf with them. Since I don't own a car or have a driver's license yet. A coworker named Peter offered to pick me up at my house and drop me off there. Naturally, on our way back from the event, we started chatting about stuff. There, I learned how pessimistic and even nihilistic Peter is. I nodded along and agreed with his bleak takes on how humanity is doomed and life is ultimately meaningless.
But the interaction went well. In the end, he was smiling, clearly happy to have found someone who shared his worldview. Blissfully unaware that he’d spent the whole ride talking to himself.
I suppose my 9-to-5 alter ego exists for a reason. It helps me blend in, keep the peace, and get through the day without unnecessary friction. Maybe that’s not such a bad thing. But it’s definitely not me. Just a version of me that clocks in and out with the rest of them. Every day I come home, I feel a big sense of relief. When I can finally drop the act and be the real me again.
